I have never been selfish until now. When I see how badly people can hurt each other with no remorse, it sickens me. I have loved selflessly my entire life. I give and give, and it saddens me that I never get even half of that in return. I want to be loved. I have been single for about 8 months now.
I am a woman and a lover. I have loved selflessly for decades and I truly feel to give it and not receive it will turn your heart cold. And that scares me. So much. I have never found security or solace in a man. I have only found heartbreak and disappointment. Which rendered me wanting to be in a relationship useless. I want love. Like real love. But according to statistics "41 percent of marriages end in divorce." And that rate goes up 20% for those who give it a second shot. So where does that leave us? Hopeless. No. Not quite. But it surely doesn't make us optimistic to see whats out there when we see the numbers put in front of us.
I know people are always saying you should be friends first. And I do crave that type of friendship. But do you know the percentage is just as high when you start off as friends, they would rather be "just friends" in the end. But then there's the loneliness. The nail biting, teeth chattering, sad movie watching, chocolate ice cream eating, soul craving loneliness. Most single women feel it, hell sadly enough a lot of married women feel it. But what if we as women were selfish. With our love, with our time, and with our hearts. I feel its not enough selfish love out there and sometimes you need that to fall back on when someone disappoints you.
I wanted a permanent lover so badly, I could feel my heart aching for it, and my mind praying for it. Unfortunately, I have only been sent temporary suitors. And thats ok. It is my time to be selfish. My time to only unconditionally love the things that spark a fire in me. Like my passions, acting, directing, and writing. We give so much of ourselves, and we need all of ourselves to love ourselves unconditionally.
Think about it. How do you self love? How are you selfish?
I know people are always saying you should be friends first. And I do crave that type of friendship. But do you know the percentage is just as high when you start off as friends, they would rather be "just friends" in the end. But then there's the loneliness. The nail biting, teeth chattering, sad movie watching, chocolate ice cream eating, soul craving loneliness. Most single women feel it, hell sadly enough a lot of married women feel it. But what if we as women were selfish. With our love, with our time, and with our hearts. I feel its not enough selfish love out there and sometimes you need that to fall back on when someone disappoints you.
I wanted a permanent lover so badly, I could feel my heart aching for it, and my mind praying for it. Unfortunately, I have only been sent temporary suitors. And thats ok. It is my time to be selfish. My time to only unconditionally love the things that spark a fire in me. Like my passions, acting, directing, and writing. We give so much of ourselves, and we need all of ourselves to love ourselves unconditionally.
Think about it. How do you self love? How are you selfish?
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