Hair Love

Hair. My hair. Your hair. Our hair. Can you tell I want to talk about hair? MY hair to be specific. I love my hair. It's unique, different, and it suits me. It is my statement. Hair does not define us, not by a long shot. But when I think about things about myself, I think about my hair,  as I'm sure you do as well. Its how we describe each other, its a stand out characteristic. So many colors, lengths, styles and textures. Although sometimes born with so little, we are all born with it. And it is typically the first thing you see when we enter the world. So let me ask you this... do you love your hair? And if so, what exactly do you love about it? 

In a world full of diversity, comes hair diversity. I tend to look at someone's hair first or whatever their head consists of. Whether you have a bald head or wearing a cap to hide it all. People are looking. 

Lately there has been this huge wave of naturalists, I am apart of that wave. I love when my hair is at its most natural state. So raw and untamed. So me. 

This wave of naturalists has been the best thing to happen to black girls in America, everywhere actually. In my opinion, it feels like we are accepting our hair and all it has to offer, and there was a time when we would straighten and try to hide our natural kinks and coils. But in this day in age we could not be happier to nourish and promote them. It makes me feel proud. Proud of my hair and my heritage. 

Selfish

I have never been selfish until now. When I see how badly people can hurt each other with no remorse, it sickens me. I have loved selflessly my entire life. I give and give, and it saddens me that I never get even half of that in return. I want to be loved. I have been single for about 8 months now. 

I am a woman and a lover. I have loved selflessly for decades and I truly feel to give it and not receive it will turn your heart cold. And that scares me. So much. I have never found security or solace in a man. I have only found heartbreak and disappointment. Which rendered me wanting to be in a relationship useless. I want love. Like real love. But according to statistics "41 percent of marriages end in divorce." And that rate goes up 20% for those who give it a second shot. So where does that leave us? Hopeless. No. Not quite. But it surely doesn't make us optimistic to see whats out there when we see the numbers put in front of us.
I know people are always saying you should be friends first. And I do crave that type of friendship. But do you know the percentage is just as high when you start off as friends, they would rather be "just friends" in the end. But then there's the loneliness. The nail biting, teeth chattering, sad movie watching, chocolate ice cream eating, soul craving loneliness. Most single women feel it, hell sadly enough a lot of married women feel it. But what if we as women were selfish. With our love, with our time, and with our hearts. I feel its not enough selfish love out there and sometimes you need that to fall back on when someone disappoints you.
I wanted a permanent lover so badly, I could feel my heart aching for it, and my mind praying for it. Unfortunately,  I have only been sent temporary suitors. And thats ok. It is my time to be selfish. My time to only unconditionally love the things that spark a fire in me. Like my passions, acting, directing, and writing. We give so much of ourselves, and we need all of ourselves to love ourselves unconditionally.
Think about it. How do you self love? How are you selfish?

The Life of a Blogger

 Everywhere I look bloggers are literally taking over the world.

We live in the world of the current. Everyone wants to know whats currently hot and whats currently not. Everyone is obsessed with knowing what they should be obsessed with. ME..well, I'm obsessed with making sure my blog stays current. So lets talk currency, and I don't mean money. Lets start with the president. The racist, misogynist, pretentious ass president. He's been in office for a little over two weeks and he's literally ruining the country. But the crazy part is the brainless beings that voted for him are acting like they are so shocked at his actions. Well guess who's not surprised by his actions...the percent of the world that called BS on his entire campaign, the percent that gave Hilary the popular vote, the defeated Americans who still have hope for this country.
 I have odds against me. Everyday I am faced with the dim reality that life isn't fair for me. I'm a woman. I'm African American. And sometimes I feel like that's all people see. Not my funny, smart and upbeat personality. And that is a crime. To judge a book by its cover, to think you know and not know anything at all. I don't want people to see just my cover.  Now, don't get me wrong, I am very proud to be who I am. Unaccepted and all. But that's where people fail as a race, the human race is taught to use judgment, sadly enough most of it is stereotypical. But that will not stop me from standing up for whats right and shutting down whats wrong. That will not stop me from being proud. That will not stop me from being an activist. That will not stop me from reaching out. That will not stop me from educating. That will not stop me from directing. That will not stop me from leading. That will not stop me from being me.
So being a blogger in this world, what am I supposed to tell you? That everything is going to be okay, when we see our country falling apart right in front of our eyes. That we will overcome this when all the work that's been done is being undone. I'm really trying to be optimistic about America but to be honest it always seems to fail me. But again, that will not stop me from trying to change it. Because one day my many tries will turn into success.
So what is the life of a blogger through my eyes? Its someone who discusses the most current things going on in the world, including discrimination and politics, even if I am the one who is being discriminated against. So I will continue to blog about the journey and I will keep you guys current. Because currently black lives are taken for granted. We currently have a joker in the white house. And we are currently fighting the power. And we will not rest until equality in America actually means we are equal. Stay woke. 

Welcome to the life of a blogger.
#UNITEDWESTAND #DIVIDEDWEFALL

Being Nice is Easy.. & Free!

I will never understand why people think its okay to torment or tease another individual. If there's one thing I hate, its a bully. People can be so cruel, and its disgusting, and downright disturbing. WE will never know peace if we continue to promote violence. I knew a girl who was such a nasty person to her peers, but I later found out that she didn't come from a nurturing and loving family, I actually started to pity her. Unfortunately, I cannot go into everyones homes to see if children are being cared for properly. I was teased in grade school, the things people would say would hurt my feelings. Eventually, said hurt turned into anger and I wanted revenge, I didn't get it.  Because I knew I could say some things that would tear these people down and that would just be..well, mean. So I got over it, I listen closely when someone is bashing me or talking down to me, because I know they feel these things about themselves. Its sad honestly. But you have to grow thick skin in this cold world, because no one is going to sugar code their words, hell they wont even code them, just a harsh blunt words. It makes me so angry that I can't take away the hate or the hateful words. I get even angrier when I cant stop the real tragedy where bullying leads to suicide. And thats the most unfortunate event of them all. Its okay to see something, and put a stop to it. I think as a community we need to get rid of the bystander effect all together. I like helping people who cannot help themselves. And I believe that if we all work together we can stop bullying for good. Spread love to angry people because the meanest souls need it the most. 

Speak UP for whats right, and Shut DOWN whats wrong!

I Time Traveled To The Year 2017!

When I was kid time just felt so far away.. But now that I'm older it doesn't seem to stop or slow down. Thats because it doesn't. That's the one thing that I know to be constant in this world. I time traveled to 2017 a long time ago. When I was younger I envisioned exactly what I would be doing in my life right now, I would be working in theatre & film, a struggling young artist, but nonetheless a working one. Which I am. I envisioned, I would be 100% done with bs and it will most likely result in me being single. Which I am. I envisioned I would still have the biggest imagination and many things going on in my mind at once. Which I do. I envisioned that I would change the world. Which I will. 

 Unfortunately, I was not able to see where politics and the economy would end up or I would have warned everyone about the fate of the country. But this is not the end. Not the end of humanity and not the end of the world. Its the end of a era with a great leader and the start of an era with a terrible one. Nothing will stop us from doing the things we love, or from being with the ones we love. 

Continue to work, to pray, to live and to laugh. A wise woman once said, "laughter and prayer is not only the greatest gifts you can give but they are the only things that find us when we are completely lost. "

That wise woman was me. Thanks for reading!

&

I wish you all have a safe and most fulfilling  NEW YEAR.

The World of Theatre

Being in the theatre world. Your told that your career path is "fun". People fear the thought of loving what you do for a living. If you're passionate about something I believe you should pursue it as a carer. No matter how "risky" it may seem. And lets just be honest even if we play it safe, everything in this world, every career is risky in this economy. So your better off spending your days in bliss rather than misery.

But the world of theatre is much more than a career its a lifestyle. It's the act of doing and believing what you're doing.

This is the world where your imagination turns to reality, where you start to dream while your wide awake. I have NEVER felt more alive than when I am immersed in the world of theatre. I like to stay on my feet in this industry. Its very easy to lose sight of that. Yeah, you can read Shakespeare or Wilder, but its even more exciting to be one of the characters that they developed in their plays and make it your own. 

I look at everyday as a play, I think about lighting and scenery all throughout my day. I am constantly thinking of ways to express my craft in my everyday life. I was scared when I changed my major in college, because there was a lot of doubt. Not in my mind, but in others that were around me, and I was afraid that I would fail without the support. But once the change was made and I committed myself to it and kept pursing it, everyone got on board. Your friends and family will eventually get on board as well. But until then fight for your dreams, and achieve the goals you have set. I could think of many paths I could have taken, but I am very honored that I chose the World of Theatre to be my world.

Writer'sBlock.com

So, I've been going back and forth about what I should write about and since I'm trying to let you guys in on my journey, I want to let you in on all of it. The good, the bad and the ugliest. Life is not easy being a struggling actor, the work isn't consistent and the pay isn't always great. But your doing what you love and I've always said that, that would be enough for me. But was it? Not being able to live a cushy lifestyle or go to the mall and splurge on myself in the last couple of months had been literally driving me insane. Nonetheless, I keep going. I'm scared. Scared to disappoint. I work hard and sometimes it feels like the pay off doesn't pay off. And that scares the hell out of me, I don't want to continue an unstable unhealthy lifestyle, but I do. And thats the ugliest truth of it all. You wake up anxious, wondering where and when the next opportunity is coming. And your worrying about student loans, phone bills and gas for your car. And don't even think about food.. I mean it, you can't afford to eat.  I didn't understand the meaning of "struggling artist" or "living paycheck to paycheck" until I literally got thrown into the adult world of being an actor/writer/director... It was looking like more than just my writing was hitting a road block.

Whats worse than writer's block?