The World of Theatre

Being in the theatre world. Your told that your career path is "fun". People fear the thought of loving what you do for a living. If you're passionate about something I believe you should pursue it as a carer. No matter how "risky" it may seem. And lets just be honest even if we play it safe, everything in this world, every career is risky in this economy. So your better off spending your days in bliss rather than misery.

But the world of theatre is much more than a career its a lifestyle. It's the act of doing and believing what you're doing.

This is the world where your imagination turns to reality, where you start to dream while your wide awake. I have NEVER felt more alive than when I am immersed in the world of theatre. I like to stay on my feet in this industry. Its very easy to lose sight of that. Yeah, you can read Shakespeare or Wilder, but its even more exciting to be one of the characters that they developed in their plays and make it your own. 

I look at everyday as a play, I think about lighting and scenery all throughout my day. I am constantly thinking of ways to express my craft in my everyday life. I was scared when I changed my major in college, because there was a lot of doubt. Not in my mind, but in others that were around me, and I was afraid that I would fail without the support. But once the change was made and I committed myself to it and kept pursing it, everyone got on board. Your friends and family will eventually get on board as well. But until then fight for your dreams, and achieve the goals you have set. I could think of many paths I could have taken, but I am very honored that I chose the World of Theatre to be my world.

Writer'sBlock.com

So, I've been going back and forth about what I should write about and since I'm trying to let you guys in on my journey, I want to let you in on all of it. The good, the bad and the ugliest. Life is not easy being a struggling actor, the work isn't consistent and the pay isn't always great. But your doing what you love and I've always said that, that would be enough for me. But was it? Not being able to live a cushy lifestyle or go to the mall and splurge on myself in the last couple of months had been literally driving me insane. Nonetheless, I keep going. I'm scared. Scared to disappoint. I work hard and sometimes it feels like the pay off doesn't pay off. And that scares the hell out of me, I don't want to continue an unstable unhealthy lifestyle, but I do. And thats the ugliest truth of it all. You wake up anxious, wondering where and when the next opportunity is coming. And your worrying about student loans, phone bills and gas for your car. And don't even think about food.. I mean it, you can't afford to eat.  I didn't understand the meaning of "struggling artist" or "living paycheck to paycheck" until I literally got thrown into the adult world of being an actor/writer/director... It was looking like more than just my writing was hitting a road block.

Whats worse than writer's block?

                   

The Coming Of The Exes...Then The Overcoming

I thought I was still madly in love with my ex..truth is, my lonely ass was just in love with the thought of being in love. I was bored..I had moved across the country to make my dreams come true. And the only dream I was living was endless Tinder disappointments. But I did mature. Being alone and broke had taken its toll. I was relentless at work and was dripping of confidence, and it was starting to show. A year ago, I was so confused and diving head first into anything that seemed like a good time. Now, I'm more focused, and cautious than ever. So career wise and relationship wise I was moving forward in life. But I still couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted to be in a relationship. I actually like the phone calls, late night and good morning texts, the cuddles and the making of future plans. But is it always good to be in a committed relationship. I mean we've all had that buttery feeling with someone. Either your current relationship or past. We've all had the special feeling in our tummy that makes us want to jump back to loving who we once loved. But how badly did your past relationships end? And how desperate are you to force a new love? I think most people love those calls and feelings, just like I do. But I also think that people are willing to sacrifice true happiness for a fake one. The world is changing. And starting over with a new guy in this generation or any guy seems so dreadful. I think humanity has to overcome the feeling of needing to be with someone, because truth is we are all loved, by family, friends, and God. And I think sometimes we think I need him/her to love me, thats going to complete me. But it won't. Do really need him/her to love you? Or do you just need to just love yourself better. Its weird when you get in the head space of reminiscing, excited for and afraid of the coming of the exes. Is it so bad to be alone, and still feel completely loved?

Makeup Probz

So we all have problems, right?
Yeah, well some of us have makeup Probz. With a z because we have a fucking zillion of them. For example, when I walk into a makeup store I'm thinking this is where I belong in life. Until I get to the bronzers and the sales rep says we don't carry a darker color bronzer for your skin tone, then they awkwardly apologize and scurry away. Okay. No bronzer. No biggie, moving on. Then you get to the foundations which is pretty expensive by the way. And another sales rep comes over and tells you that you have to mix 2 different foundations to achieve the optimal looks for your skin tone. Great. Just fucking great. Maybe it's just being black in American makeup stores. So then I go over to the mascara and I ask what's the difference between these two because one is $19 and the other is $31. And she goes one gives you volume and makes your lashes so long, and the other makes your lashes big and stand out and gives it super length. Not realizing that she described these items to be the exact same with different words. Sighs..shrugs..and moves on... to making her own cosmetic line! :-P